Good AND Bad

I find it easier to believe that bad things come from God, than good things. I guess I assume that things in life should go fairly smoothly. When they don't, I have no problem trusting that God has a reason for the crap in my life. That doesn't mean I like having crap in my life, but I can usually brainstorm up some kind of good that could come of it. However, when things go really great, or something wonderful happens out of the blue, I simply attribute it to the fact that things in life just go well sometimes; coincidence. How ridiculous is that? Most people thank God for the good stuff and either forget Him during the bad or curse Him for it.

I was explaining this phenomenon to Mike one day, and he said I am like Naomi. {{Whoa, being like anyone in the Bible is cool, but being like someone from the Bible that has the same name as a supermodel? Stop! I'm blushing!}} Anyway, Naomi from the Bible... who was bitter and blamed God for her apparent abandonment. {{Wait a minute... maybe I shouldn't be so flattered by my husbands’ assessment after all…}} She did however, end up realizing that God had not completely forgotten her and took care of her in the end (and all through the middle, as my husband pointed out).

Saying I’m like Naomi is actually fairly accurate, considering a year ago I was so angry at God, I felt like He was not involved in my life at all (abandoned) and that He could really care less about what went on in my trivial life. So, acknowledging that He is here, and somewhat participating, is also admitting that He cares. Sort of. Even if it is getting back to brainstorming the good that He could make of unfortunate happenings.

I am not quite to where Naomi was at the end of her story, but I suppose we are always on this journey of working on our relationship with God. I certainly have come a long way, but I am even more certain that I have much farther to go. My frustrations with Him are not because hard things have happened to me, or around me, but because I don't believe he actually loves me. The kind of believing that you don’t have to think about, you just know it.



This is the product of five girls going apple picking. It was so good, and so bad for us :)

Steal My Sunshine

I was thinking about some things I was reading, catching up on other people's lives, and I started thinking about their commentary on their own life. It occurred to me, "Sometimes I am baffled by people's inability to look beyond themselves and at least acknowledge the joy that other people experience. You don't have to enjoy it too, but to steal that joy from someone else? Disgraceful." and I am utterly disappointed. However, I also have to remind myself that I am not in their shoes and I do not know all of the details so I can not completely resign to knowing the right and wrong in this situation.

Also, I wonder how many times I do that? I like to think that my own sarcasm and frequent negativity are my way of dealing with life, and don't affect other people. I actually try really hard to make sure that people around me feel good and comfortable. Sometimes I try too hard, in fact. Yet this is clearly my opinion from my perspective. It is impossible for me to objectively evaluate how my negativity impacts others. So next time you are having a joyous moment, and I steal your joy, feel free to remind me to let you have your moment and enjoy it too. I don't need to pretend to be joyful with you, I just shouldn't spoil it for you.

And then there were two...

Spooky's brother (Boo) joined us on Wednesday evening. We've all been having great fun, and a few extra opportunities to practice patience. They love to wrestle each other, it's hilarious. And it doesn't matter what one of them starts playing with, the other will get jealous. Seriously, we gave them a cardboard box and one got interested, and before you know it they were pulling it apart! Though they are definitely more of a challenge than just one dog, they really are a good lesson for us. They make us work more as a team, not just taking turns, but coordinating and doing things at the same time and together. For example, when you're trying to get a puppy to go potty out side, it's much easier when one person only has to keep track of one dog, and they aren't distracted with being too close to each other. And messes... one cleans, and the other removes the culprits. We are a true team. And though it causes some stress, I love it.

Lately

I don't always know the words for how I'm feeling, and when I do, they don't always sound "good". So I often quote other people, and songs... so this is me lately...

Bebo Norman - The Way We Mend Lyrics

Lately you've been all blue sky
And I've been rain
I don't mean to bust up your party
With all of my pain

But sometimes my shadows surround me
And you take me in your arms and say

It's the way we mend
We tear it all down and we'll start it again
And I don't know how but you find me where we begin
And that's just the way, the way that we mend