I am quite frequently informed that I look "just like" so and so. Or, "I could have sworn I saw you the other day!" but alas, it was not me. I think this is actually very amusing. I take joy (er, pride) in knowing I look like other people, sometimes even famous people. This picture is me and a girl dubbed as my twin in college.This post however, is about the other kind of identity. The one we hold of ourselves. What do you see as your identity? There can be many, but usually there is one that you tell first to people you've just met. Or the one you make sure to include on your bio or "about me" statement. Now, I know as believers, you are to strive to hold our identity in Christ. You are supposed to be completely confident in your adoption as a son or daughter of Christ that you are most excited about it and it is the first and last thing you want to share with people. Let me be the first to confess that I struggle so much with this concept that it feels like I am writing about a foreign country that I've never visited.
**Warning**: I acknowledge that I have a tendency to whine :) and exclaim "woe is me". Please feel free to stop reading if you start to gag.
Over the last few weeks I have been unemployed, waiting for my next assignment from the staffing agency. The first week was bliss, the second was miserable and the third was a combination of both. Having time off from full time employment is like an impromptu, mini-vacation. Woo hoo! I get to bake things (Raspberry Banana Bread, Chocolate Peanut Butter Mallow Bars, Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies...) and plan real meals for my husband! It was a fun week. Then week two rolls around and the fact that I should have been called by now, and the temping agency is clearly neglecting me, sets in. (That is sarcasm, because they can only call when they have assignments, I'm not really blaming them). Week three got the pendulum swing started with reminding myself that not everyone gets to enjoy time off like this, and at least we have some savings in the bank to keep us afloat. Swing... I am useless, jobless, lazy, unmotivated and annoyed. So that is what has prompted the ponderings of my identity. My conclusion:
It is harder to struggle with your identity when you have none at all, than when you have a fake one.
Oh how I long to be the kind of person with a profession. So that I could say, I am a _____. And in that statement, I would be informing people that I am of value, I bring something to the table, I help mankind! It could simply be, "I am a Mom, I have little people that are completely my responsibility and I am doing my best to raise them as good humans and lovers of God." Or I could be, a nurse, a barista, an accountant, a pastor, a counselor or a teacher. But no. Instead I am a person that works for a Staffing Agency doing temporary assignments as an Administrative Assistant.
I realize that all of these identities are, in reality, fake. They are titles that help describe us, but they are not supposed to be our identities. However, when you have one, it is easy to get comfortable and tell yourself (or possibly lie to yourself) from time to time that your real confidence and comfort comes from your identity in Christ. Lie or not, it is easier when you have another identity to fall back on.
